Pregnancy after infertility

You have been trying for days, months, maybe even years. Part of you felt that it was never going to happen, maybe you even started to prepare yourself for that and then it does. And maybe you feel some joy, but you might also feel shock, denial or numb. It might not feel real even after you take pregnancy test after pregnancy test. Everyone has advice to give when it comes to getting pregnant when diagnosed with infertility but what happens when you get pregnant after infertility?

Does the infertility diagnosis go away?

No! You are not suddenly cured because you now are pregnant. It doesn’t take away the stress, the longing, the anger, the resentment, how its impacted your mental health or your finances or the impact it had on relationships.

Why do I feel like an imposter?

You may feel like an imposter after getting pregnant. You have wanted to be in this group of pregnant people for so long and now that you are here it doesn’t feel right. You feel like you don’t fit in. Infertility has changed you and changed this narrative you have had about becoming a parent.

Why do I fell guilty?

You may even feel guilty after becoming pregnant. It is common to feel guilty about leaving behind those that are still struggling with infertility. This can be isolating and feel very lonely. If you are feeling like an imposter in the pregnancy group, but also no longer feel like you fit in the infertility groups it can be hard to feel supported.

I am pregnant so I can’t complain.

It is so common for women to feel like if pregnancy is hard or not what they expected that they are allowed to feel this way. You may be telling yourself well this is what I wanted so I can’t complain or you may also be hearing this from others or well you got pregnant what did you expect. Even if you have a very wanted pregnancy that you tried very hard to get, pregnancy is still hard, uncomfortable at times, and not what you expected. Your feelings are VALID!

I don’t feel attached to my pregnancy.

It is common after infertility or a loss to not feel attached right away. This is your protective part telling you this isn’t safe, we need to protect you. For most of you this will grow and develop naturally. If it doesn’t feel like you are slowly starting to develop or that it is feeling more and more real- therapy can help.

I am feeling anxious.

It is common to notice some anxiety or sadness about being pregnant. If you are noticing these frequently or noticing that they are increasing it is important to get help. If you are noticing intrusive thoughts, nightmares or flashbacks there is help.

To learn more about infertility counseling in Madison or anywhere in Wisconsin or to set up your free 15 minute consultation you can reach me here for a therapist Madison.

Postpartum Care Physical Therapy in Madison, WI

I had the honor of interviewing local physical therapist, Jessica Dufault from Mindful Motion Physical Therapy to learn more about how she helps postpartum care in Madison. She specializes in pelvic floor and women’s wellness. She is an excellent resource for women in the pre/postnatal stage and also works with women that have experienced a pregnancy loss.

Julie: Hello Jessica,

Thank you so much for agreeing to speak with me. Would you start by introducing yourself?

Jessica: Hello,

I'm excited to be talking with you about pelvic health today and thanks for inviting me!

I'm a mom, partner, business owner and Pelvic PT in a small private practice. I support people throughout their lifespan (18+ years old, my wisest client was 94!)

Julie: Who can benefit from PT for the pelvic floor?

Jessica: Anyone with a pelvis! But specifically if you've gone through life transitions such as pregnancy, postpartum and perimenopause. During these times, your health and pelvis can undergo transitions that can be challenging to navigate alone and may sometimes require additional TLC.

Julie: I work with a lot of pre/postpartum moms. What are some symptoms that they may notice if they need physical therapy?

Jessica: Great question! If you are pre/postpartum, here are some things to look out for

Peeing when you don't want to

Prolapse which is a shift in position of pelvic organs (feeling of pressure, heaviness or a "falling out" feeling)

Difficulty with internal menstrual product use

Pain with penetration, including sex, exams, menstrual products

Scar tissue restrictions or pain (perineal or cesarean)

Diastasis Recti (separation of abdominal tissue) which can lead to feeling weak or even LBP

Pain in areas like the low back, sacroiliac joint, hip. As well as sciatica and pubic symphysis dysfunction

You may also be looking for guidance on exercise or fitness

You may want support for prepping your body for demands of pregnancy and birth

Julie: If someone has a cesarean birth is PT still helpful?

Jessica: Yes! I had an unplanned cesarean and I had NO idea how difficult the recovery would be and didn't have the support I needed (which is one factor that pushed me from an orthopedic PT to a pelvic PT!).

Taking care of the scar tissue, assessing the position and movement of pelvic organs and regaining abdominal strength are all very important to ensure good long term pelvic health.

Julie: I also work a lot with bereaved moms. I think a lot of times they don't always think about being postpartum because they are not given the same attention as a mom that is lucky enough to bring a baby home. Do you have experience working with bereaved moms? How might your work look different? What might be important for them to know?

Jessica: I don't have a lot of experience here but over the years I have supported a few people who've experienced loss in pregnancy, during birth or a few weeks after birth. And maybe my experience is limited because of what you've already mentioned, that they aren't given the same attention, resources and discussion on all aspects of physical postpartum support. And yet they have the right and deserve the same access to physical pregnancy/post-pregnancy care.

Because if you have experienced a miscarriage in early or mid pregnancy prior to 20 weeks, or a stillbirth (whether vaginal or cesarean) at anytime past 20 weeks, your body has been impacted by hormones and all the accompanying physical changes to the body that pregnancy and birth can bring on. Which deserves attention and support!

We can start early education and support depending on each person's readiness however we wouldn't do a full pelvic assessment until 6 weeks post birth.

All of my clients are screened for mental and emotional health and this helps me to understand where they are in the (potential) grieving process as well as what support they've been able to access and then I can fill in referral gaps as necessary.

And with all clients, I follow their lead in how we approach the plan of care and meet them where they are and with what they (and their bodies) seem ready for. This is especially important for clients with a history of trauma or loss.

Julie: This is so helpful. Thank you! It is a great to know that you are aware and sensitive to the trauma and grief that all these moms are going through and ways to support them.

Julie: What are the benefits that PT can offer?

Jessica: Navigating changes in our bodies can be a lot and accessing a pelvic PT can help people feel well supported physically, emotionally & mentally. Knowing you don't have to "go at it alone" or "suffer in silence" can have a profound impact.

Also it's not just about the pelvic floor! My training and education allow me to support people with all aspects of their health and wellness as it relates to menstruation, fertility, pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause & menopause.

Julie: If someone is interested in working with you, how do they initiate that?

Jessica: Our website is a great place to start. Lots of info there on who we support and all the options- like using insurance, choosing our ​self-pay programs or even our online programs. We also offer online scheduling through our website.

We do have a free and private Facebook group that everyone is welcome to join if they are looking for more community, support and general pelvic health education.

Julie: Thank you so much Jessica for taking the time to meet with me today. Is there any other information that would be important to know?

Jessica: I often get feedback that our space feels very warm and inviting and that talking with me is way easier than they anticipated (and they say "I wish I had come sooner!") We work hard to make the experience feel supportive and easy. If anyone has reservations, I'm also open to chatting via email or phone call as necessary to make sure it's the right fit overall.

Julie: Jessica you are a valuable resource to the community. Thank you so much for talking with me today and all that you do for the postpartum moms. One of the reasons I asked Jessica to speak today is because of all the great content I see her putting on instagram for free. If you haven’t found her on there yet she is

that_ pelvic _lady.

For more resources on pregnancy or postpartum mental health contact julie@kullcounselingmadison.com.