The 6th stage of grief: finding meaning

/ Kull Counseling, LLC/
NICU donation from Mikayla's Grace

David Kessler recently identified the sixth stage of grief as finding meaning in your loss. Kessler states, “meaning comes through finding a way to sustain your love for the person after their death while you’re moving forward with your life. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.”

This concept of finding meaning in grief has been around for much longer. In the 1980’s Miles Model for Parental Grief describes the search for meaning as part of the reorganization phase of grief.

If you have experienced a pregnancy loss meaning making can be an important part of your grief process. In this article you will learn what meaning making is and ways to make meaning of your loss.

The concept of meaning making simply put is finding meaning around why this loss happened to you. No one wishes for a loss or is glad that it has happened but many of you may find some peace in finding purpose.

Here are 3 ways to make meaning in your grief:

  1. Volunteer- some parents of loss have started non profits, other parents volunteer at organizations that support bereaved parents. Some of you may donate time or money.

    Local organizations: Mikayla’s Grace and Bereaved Parents of Madison both accept volunteers at different times of the year.

  2. Advocate- some bereaved parents find meaning in advocating for policies that impact bereaved parents and infant and pregnancy loss.

  3. Education/reducing stigma- Some of you may also find meaning making in educating others or reducing stigma by talking or writing about your loss. This may be in your social circles, on a social media platform, speaking at public events or writing news articles or blog posts.

If you have experienced a loss has meaning making been an important part of your grief? How have you found ways to make meaning of your loss? To learn more about stages of grief and pregnancy loss or to sign up for a free 15 minute phone consultation you can contact me here to work with a therapist Madison.

Pictured above, dropping off donations from Mikayla’s Grace to a local Nicu.