Am I a mother after a miscarriage?

As we near the month of May, two dates stand out each year. The first is Bereaved Mother’s Day, which is the first Sunday of the month and the second is Mother’s Day which is the second Sunday of the month.

Each year I have at least one client in my office that wonders, “am I a mother”. Having an early loss (before 20 weeks of gestation) can feel confusing of what that means. For many of you that is not a question that is easily answered.

Some of you may identify with being a mother or being a bereaved mother, but for others you may not. This idea of motherhood often is a label that people get stuck on because you may not identify as a mother but you also not identify as a bereaved mother, but it may also feel like you are not not a mother. The idea of motherhood or being a parent may also evolve for you as you process and grieve your loss.

However you identify is okay, it can be less isolating to go through loss with others and find a group of people that you identify with but whether you identify as a mother, parent, bereaved mother, or person that had a miscarriage is okay. And their might be a group for that. Please know that even if you don’t identify as a bereaved parent, it is still okay to look for support in these communities if you feel like it is a fit for you. It is important to just show up for yourself during this month. Notice what it brings up for you and if you would like support with what you went through. For more information on pregnancy loss or to work with a therapist in Madison contact me here.